You’ve found someone on Instagram you’d like to connect with, but their profile is set to private. A little lock icon sits next to their name, and your message is stuck in a request folder. It can feel a bit like knocking on a door and hoping someone answers. Knowing how to approach this situation respectfully is the key to getting a response.
When an account is private, it means the person values their online space and controls who sees their content. Your goal isn’t to bypass their privacy, but to make a genuine connection that encourages them to open that door for you.
Making a Thoughtful Follow Request
The first step is always the follow request. Before you even think about sending a message, send that request. It shows you’re interested in seeing their content and respect their privacy settings. A random message from a non-follower is much less likely to be accepted. Think of your follow request as introducing yourself before starting a conversation.
Crafting Your Message Request
Once you’ve sent the follow request, you can send a direct message. This message will sit in a separate “message requests” folder until they approve it. Keep your initial message friendly and low-pressure. A simple, “Hey, I really enjoy your perspective on [shared interest], I thought I’d say hello!” is a great start. Avoid generic “hi” messages and instead, mention something specific if you can, like a mutual friend or a group you’re both in.
Why a Personal Touch Makes a Difference
People with private accounts often get many requests. To stand out, your message should feel personal. Briefly explain who you are or why you’re reaching out. For example, “Hi there! We both went to [School Name] and I saw your post in the alumni group. I’d love to connect.” This provides context and makes your request feel less random. Always be polite and patient, as it might take time for them to see and respond to your request.
What to Do If You Don’t Get a Reply
It’s important to remember that not every request will be accepted, and that’s okay. People have many reasons for keeping their accounts private. If you don’t get a response after a week or two, it’s best to move on. Sending repeated messages can come across as pushy. Respecting their decision is the most important part of the process.
Connecting with a private Instagram account is all about patience and respect. By sending a thoughtful follow request and a genuine message, you significantly increase your chances of making a new connection in a way that feels comfortable for everyone involved.